I can't stand who's inside my body.
I can list all that I'm concerned about so easily:

Recently, whatever I do makes others and myself upset.

I hate it when people talk like they're superior.
I hate it when people talk like they know me best. They don't.
Is that same as liking superiority and hating inferiority?

I see flaws in others and myself far too well. Too well.

My all-or-nothing mentality makes me not want to do anything.

The fact that I don't trust anyone makes me frustrated.

My insecurities are killing me. And others around me.
There are very little people I dare to say "I love you" to without the fear of them being disgusted. Or telling them that when they don't even like me half as much as I like them. Rejection.

I understand myself so much that I end up feeling as though I don't know myself at all because of the confusion.

I'd really rather be alone. But being alone too much is... lonely.


My need for privacy contradicts whatever I'm writing here.

Just why have I grown into this person? I prefer the old me.
I just need an answer for this. Why am I not easy going anymore?

All my abnormal dreams must be explanations for these.



http://arstechnica.com/staff/fatbits/2009/05/hypercritical.ars

I feel EXACTLY like this guy. I've become too critical of myself and others that I end up seeing nothing but flaws, pissing others off, getting increasingly frustrated with myself and not trusting others.

.. on the other hand, I'm afraid if I try to lose that critical part of me, all the things I do will turn out horrid. I'm afraid I'll accept things at certain levels even if they are not good enough. I think I need help this is driving me crazy and increasingly isolated from everyone.